Happy Birthday Ask the Pro Stylist
Hello gorgeous! AsktheProStylist celebrated another birthday and I am swiftly heading toward 60; faster than I would have liked. Such is life! Please do not misunderstand, 56 is by no means downhill. However, it is closer to 60 than 50. Contrary to what the world expects, I am happy to have celebrated as many turns around the sun. Gratefully, I feel healthy and strong, nowhere near what the calendar states. The body looks young, toned, and in shape, but the face tells another tale. Too much sun; too much wine, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I lived and am proud of it. Everyone’s trajectory toward their elderly self is different.
I write about the beauty in aging because as a society, we cherish the young and begin a pattern to remain youthful in our twenties. Ageism has garnered a stealthy seat alongside the other isms. The older I become, the more attractive I find those near my age or greater. It’s because of our commonality. Like, we have a secret and you will learn it once you reach 50. Therefore, I am giving my opinion on what it means for me to mature, along with the beauty I find in growing up within myself and others to inform, inspire, and possibly entertain (or not).
Ageism
Please don’t hate me, but I didn’t love the movie “Barbie.” I enjoyed aspects of it and as a feminist, its message resonated. Additionally, I believe it is absolute bullshlogin that neither Margot Robbie nor the film’s director Greta Gerwig are recipients of Oscar nominations; further validating the literal premise of the movie.
Congratulations to America Ferrara for her accolade, mostly in part due to her “iconic” monologue. Her speech was, at least for me, the best part of “Barbie,” especially when she touches upon today’s topic, that we women are not allowed to age.
“It is literally impossible to be a woman…You have to never get old…”
Gloria – “Barbie”
Negative Experience Turns Positive
I stayed at my last job for a fraction of a second, too little of a timeframe to include on my resume. I don’t want recruiters or hiring managers asking why I left after only 6 weeks. There was a multitude of reasons, one that included ageism, which was perpetrated by the owner’s son and daughter on many occasions. Their comments were truly sickening and unprofessional, which made me feel powerless. I have worked too many years in my devoted industry to sit back and deal with rude and childlike behavior. The patriarch is HR, therefore there was nowhere to turn except back out from whence I came. I took back my power.
I am not the first nor will I be the last as both the former and current President of the United States deal with the same issue. Obviously on a grander scale, with both much older than myself. More and more I hear and see women my age battling ageism in the workplace. I cannot help but wonder if age plays a stronger role in the hiring process than recruiters and the like acknowledge. I hope I am wrong. My advice is if you didn’t get the job, it could be your age, but not why you think. Perhaps the supervisor is looking for someone younger who they might believe is easier to boss around.
Celebration of Youth is Physiological in Nature
The celebration of a youthful appearance is largely physiological due in part to fertility. The body reproduces during a certain time frame and then we shrivel up and become dust. No, that doesn’t happen. Seriously, physical attraction leads to sexual relations, which yields procreation. The mere biological fact is youthful attraction is simply for the continuation of the species. There are other reasons including societal, cultural, and more. Side note, mammary glands are to feed the young.
While our outward appeal might diminish to others as we age, the truth is we are still just as vibrant. However, nature wants to ensure we can no longer produce children. Some of us never enter menopause, while many will not experience symptoms. Estrogen keeps us young, which we lose during menopause. God forbid I get pregnant at this age. But I could. During my yearly exam, I had a lengthy and informational conversation with my GYN. My mother never experienced menopause, and I seem to be on the same track. But if you do, it is your truth and part of your journey. Everyone’s story is different and should be relished, and discussed with your doctor.
Beauty in Wisdom
There is beauty in wisdom. Wisdom is beautiful. That cliché is the old aging standby to make people, in particular, women, feel better. One never hears that Patrick Dempsey or George Clooney (61) look old or they were more attractive when they were younger. Instead, they are praised for getting better with age. Dempsey recently earned the “Sexiest Man Alive” accolade at 57.
Women too are like fine wine, and it is time to reclaim our beauty not just because of our wisdom and experience, but because our wisdom and experiences have made us strong, powerful, confident, and yes, beautiful.
My Over 50 Role Models
- Jamie Lee Curtis: I adore her. At 65, she defies society’s dictates on aging women, landing iconic, award-winning roles. I remember as a kid when she became the “horror queen,” my mother would say, “She has her dad’s face and mom’s figure.” I always found her stunning, including her perfect body. I love how she pushes back on societal norms, recently remarking how she doesn’t like the “plastic look” of fillers and Botox.
- Sharon Stone: Another stunner at 65. Both Sharon and Jamie Lee rock sexy, short hairstyles. Word is she stays fit by refraining from the use of alcohol and wine; advice from her trainer when asked how Madonna, also 65, stays so defined. The answer was clean living.
- Jodie Foster: The Academy Award winner is 61 and embracing every fine line. In her latest movie, NYAD, she touts the body of a fit 20-year-old.
Many, many more beautiful, talented, and intelligent women over 50 inspire me every day such as Cyndi Lauper (70), Michelle Yeoh (61), Julianne Moore (63), Nicole Kidman (56), Jennifer Lopez (54), Halle Berry (57), Queen Latifah (53), Demi Moore (61)and on and on and on. I cannot list them all here, but their simple existence, for me, is powerful.
Some of you might state, as my own mother once did, “But look at the money they make, they can afford the best. It’s their job to look a certain way.” It is more than their beauty. It’s their unwillingness to be held to a standard, and their indelible nature to strive for continued success. That is beautiful. Remember, The Golden Girls were in their fifties; so too are the characters of Sex and the City.
Botox as Aging Prevention
The rate at which Botox has skyrocketed among twenty-somethings is staggering as a preventative measure to not age, or to keep youthful beauty. Fillers and toxins help, but run the risk of swelling the face, like one of the mentioned role models above. We’ve all seen the cat lady. Beauty, however, begins on the inside with clean eating, avoiding alcohol, exercise, and plenty of water. More and more fitness professionals like my guy Shawn T (yes, I love Bodi) proclaim the youthful benefits of resistance and strength training. He motivates me every day. Of course, we also have plastic surgery at our disposal and tons of products and procedures to stop Father Time. However, as I have long advocated, a healthy lifestyle will always reveal itself on the outside.
Business of Anti-Aging Beauty
As more famous women (and men) reach the Golden milestone, it appears that the business of anti-aging beauty products is exploding. While each enters their new phase of life, they offer a different outlook on how to stay, look, and feel young. SeroVital, injectables, Bobbi Brown’s Jones Road makeup, microneedling, and hair growth hair care, from makeup to supplements, to skincare and more invasive treatments, the market is booming.
Currently, I love SeroVital Advanced supplements and am having positive results with hair growth, an improvement in sleep, and an even skin tone. In my beauty wisdom offering product advice throughout the years, what I know to be true is we are all different. What works for me might not work for you.
My Beauty Regimen:
- A moment of gratitude: Thanking my higher power each morning for another opportunity.
- 80 ounces of water daily (at least): I begin each day with 28 ounces and 6 ounces of warm lemon water to detox the body.
- A 40-minute walk by the bay: Of course, with my love. Only if the weather permits.
- Coffee: (Something I am working on eliminating).
- Vitamins/Supplements: including SeroVital.
- Intense workout: (On Bodi – strength, dance, resistance, yoga, cardio – I alternate depending upon my needs. Word on social media is Tony Horton is returning for us older folks. Cannot wait to see what he has in store.
- Healthy meals: I am leaning more towards a plant-based diet both for the environment and my health.
- Regular doctor visits.
- 8 hours of sleep: It’s my goal, yet not always achievable.
- 5-7 minutes of meditation.
- Elimination of wine: OK – so I love my wine. It is hard to cook without it (or not to have a glass in hand while cooking). I don’t drink alcohol and participated in a dry January. Wow, I feel great. Additionally, I have lost weight and all facial puffiness has decreased. I am doing this to prepare for my son’s wedding. But I love how I feel without any spirits in my body.
Health Esteem
The bottom line is to do what works for you to increase your health esteem. This will vary for each of us. For me, writing this very long post was cathartic. It was in response to some impolite people, which turned into a movement of health esteem for me with an increase in exercise, healthier eating, and meditation. We can only control our reactions. Mine was to create a more positive and rejuvenating health esteem. I also see myself following Jamie Lee Curtis’ aging awareness and embracing every line, jowl, and gray hair. I earned them.
We are ALL Beautiful
We are all beautiful; at every age, ethnicity, and identity. Show respect and adoration for your elders and your youthful equals, and avoid ageism at all costs. There is something to be learned and relished from each of us. Life is too short to spread hate, and Karma could be devastating. As a group of my former coworkers would say, “God doesn’t like ugly” (inside, not meant for outward appearances). There is beauty in aging.
Happy Styling!
Pick up a copy of my new book, perfect for anyone thinking about a career in cosmetology. If you have a comment regarding the beauty in aging, a beauty question, or a product for review you would like to see here, please email me at asktheprostylist@gmail.com. For laughs and a little bit of beauty advice, visit me on TikTok. I must give it more of my time! Until then, happy styling!
©Deirdre Haggerty 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. It is unlawful to reproduce this article or any part without the author’s prior written permission and consent.
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A writer, author, NY State licensed cosmetologist, beauty educator and Executive Director, Deirdre Haggerty has been actively involved in the hair and beauty industry in New York for over 30 years. Feel free to ask any question relating to hair care, beauty and skincare! Send Deirdre an email 
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