Never Settle for Less Than Your Worth

Hello Beautiful!

Hello gorgeous! Welcome to my beauty blog, Ask the Pro Stylist. While I mostly focus on the business of beauty, today is more of a mental health regurgitation on the value of self-worth in the workplace. As I recently left a very toxic work environment, I am in search of bigger and better, including the possibility of moving into a different field.

However, I struggle with: “Do I deserve a pay increase!” I feel as a woman of my generation (Gen X), I have been conditioned to work hard and make money, regardless of the salary. Indulge me as I explain and hopefully inspire.

Mediocre Compensation

If you are familiar with this blog, you know I was the Executive Director of a popular cosmetology school. My salary was simply decent, which I knew from the jump. However, during the final interview, I was informed I would receive said amount because there is a freeze on raises due to the pandemic. I hoped it would change, but it did not. While it was more than the previous job, I knew I deserved more.

Toxic, Dramatic Environment

However, I forged on, excelling in my position, making incredible changes, advancing admissions, going into the black, and receiving zero limitations upon accreditation. Might I add, an unaccomplished feat for that campus in years? I deserved a bonus, if not a raise (received neither), and was barely issued a “thank you.”

Red flags flew. To say it was a toxic environment, trickling from the top and suffocating the employees of the entire cooperation with negative energy, is an understatement. Ever hear the expression, “The ass doesn’t know what the elbow does?” Well, that describes upper management whose style is micromanagement and repetitive demand. As a core value, accountability sits on the top rung of the ladder. Unfortunately, the campus Executive Directors were puppets without any authority to oversee excessive absenteeism and tardiness, or other unprofessional work behaviors.

Four months in and I knew I wouldn’t stay. My quest for another position began. Unfortunately, due to the insane hours, I kept, well beyond the 40-hour workweek, it grew difficult to search for anything.

Time to Move On

Ever notice an increase in memes that reflect your dilemma when in the throes of whatever it is you are dealing with? Of course, I continued to see encouraging words about my struggle. And at the same time, management from other schools dropped like flies while the patriarchy of the senior executives stayed put. Adding insult to injury, these are men who do not hold a license in cosmetology or understand the intricacies of the beauty field. They only want to drive admission (sales).

One year later and only available to complete a few interviews, I hired a resume writer. A pretty penny it cost, if for no other reason except that it boosted my confidence to walk away. And walk I did. When my mental health could take no more of the masculine toxicity, nonsensical demands, and choking environment, I split. As we were planning on relocating to a nearby state anyway, I now had time to focus on searching for a home, finding a better job, and finishing the book I began last summer, which should be available on Amazon in September (indiscriminate plug).

Expectations of Women

With more time at home, the television plays longer and reports about women, women’s health, mental health, alcohol habits, our attitudes, etc. prevail. Of note are two: A Today show conversation and another about the demands/expectations of women.

On 6/28/2023 Hoda Kotb said, (and I summarize), “People are always evolving and where you are at now is not who you were 15 years ago. Because of this we constantly reintroduce ourselves.” It validated leaving the ED role and spoke to me on my current journey of expansion.

Unsure of exactly where or what forum I read or watched the second, I believe it was commentary either on a news report over the current Supreme Court rulings or even dialogue from HBO’s And Just Like That. (Throwing my arms in the air!)

Who knows, but it spoke to me because as a woman of a certain age, I was raised to work hard, take what I can, and be grateful, regardless of the degrees I have earned and the strides I have made. Especially as we are looking to purchase a home, I feel compelled to contribute whatever I can.

Comments From Female Acquaintances

Adding insult to injury, I have heard some of the same comments from older female acquaintances explaining I can get a job anywhere, negating my degree and career. Of course, I can go anywhere. But that is not what I have worked so hard for. I have a trajectory and a goal and why should I feel bad for wanting that? Speaking to what Hoda stated, they don’t know me. I am not the same as I was 15 years ago.

The Offers Held Little Value

I was offered the position of School President, via text message. Once I mentioned the salary the owner listed on Indeed, I was ghosted. Continuing my search and writing, I was offered another role as Campus Director in the state I am moving to with a considerable drop in salary; more than 15% less than my last.

My DH was not happy, but I made him promise not to influence my decision. I accepted the offer as I tried to justify the salary with the promise the owner gave to receive my former remuneration after certain deliverables were met within a year. But something didn’t sit right in my gut.

Still searching for homes, we have yet to relocate, which means my commute is an hour over 2 bridges. Between gas and tolls, I would lose a substantial amount of that bi-weekly salary. When I finally came clean in a tear-soaked Sunday evening fury to my very quiet husband, he was relieved to reinforce his feelings regarding the money, my worth, etc. all of which he was holding in. Two weeks before we had been sitting with some big business people from another, singing my praises. (He is my biggest fan!)

Then I picked up my phone and texted my family in our group chat (2 live on their own and 2 live at home). The two youngest came into my room and the oldest, including their significant others gave me outstanding love, advice, and support.

I emailed the school owner and was offered more, but they still couldn’t match my old salary. I thanked them and am continuing my search.

My Family’s Support

I am grateful I have a husband who can support that decision, both financially and emotionally. This is not always the case for many women. I also want to say never to underestimate the advice of young people. My children are so intelligent; therefore, I want to share some of their guidance upon asking for advice and questioning if my refusal disappoints them.

17-year-old: “Why would I be disappointed? I would be disappointed if you took a job and were unhappy. Being happy is setting the best example.”
23-year-old: “You shouldn’t have to prove your worth, that is what a resume is for. I am proud of you for not taking that job Mom!”
29-year-old fiancé of son: “A pay cut could be worth it if it adds value to your life without significant changes such as a shorter commute, a good experience for your resume, and more time to work on side jobs.”
The 22-year-old girlfriend of son number 3: “Take all factors into consideration but also don’t settle without advocating for yourself.”
Husband: “You’re worth more than that. So, when are you grabbing your computer and sending an email?”

My Decision & Why I am Worth it

Additional inspiration came in the form of a LinkedIn post about a woman whose final job offer was less than the initial negotiations. As a result, she didn’t accept the position. A few months later she got a much better salary. Could be BS, maybe not, but I didn’t want the same beauty school drama I left for less pay, especially when my title receives a higher salary in general. Therefore, I declined. Ironically, the same week I received 5 rejections from previous applications.

However, I didn’t falter. It takes a lot to knock me down. Instead, I completed my book and submitted it for editing and copyright. Then, as luck would have it, a bucket load of opportunities presented themselves. About 9 years ago, when I re-entered the workforce after working from home and owning a business, two coworkers gave great advice: “Your next salary in a new job should always be more than your last.” That has stayed with me. They were 100% correct. Never settle for less than what you are worth!

It is important to keep busy; whatever that means for you. For me, my workouts increase, which increases those happy, positive endorphins. As a result, my body looks better growing my self-esteem. I am reading more, which aids in my writing. Finally, I am paying more attention to the details in job posts and taking my time in applying.

Happy Styling!
Don’t give up. Know your worth. Advocate for yourself. It is my sincerest wish that my journey to find a competitive salary in a positive work environment offers you some inspiration to keep looking until all your requirements are met. This is simply an education for me to continue looking, value myself, and appreciate all I bring to the table. If you have questions, email me at asktheprostylist@gmail.com. The book release coming soon. Details to follow in the upcoming weeks.