Go Gray with My Simple Steps

Ask the Pro Stylist Is Going Gray

I never believed that the words, “I will go gray,” would escape my lips. In my career as Ask the Pro Stylist, I have preached against it, proclaiming gray hair ages women because, as we gray, so too does our skin, adding years to our actual age. These were the words of my cosmetology teacher back in the day, and I believed it. I wrote multiple posts about anti-aging and the stigma of gray hair, even as the trend gained popularity.

Gray Streak at the Age of Eight

Around the age of eight, my mother noticed a gray streak emerging on the left side of my head—not a few strands, but a streak. It could have been genetic or something else, of which I have no recollection, that frightened me. That’s how old I was when she took her box dye, mixed it with shampoo, and colored my hair for the first time. I have been coloring it ever since.

Farrah Fawcett Frosting

Following my multi-hair color fiasco, Mom, who was not a hairstylist, purchased another store-bought kit to frost my hair like Farrah Fawcett. This continued until I was in about ninth grade and got my first perm, not realizing I had naturally wavy hair that, with the correct education and products, could showcase a beautiful, loose curl that people would pay big bucks for.

Cosmetology School

My subscribers know I took cosmetology in high school. During a school trip to the International Hair Show in New York City, I purchased a generic brand of “gold cellophane.” WOW, these references are dating me. My hair turned orange. This time, the professionals I worked with in an upscale salon corrected my hair color with heavy highlights, and I emerged as a gorgeous blonde.

Grays with Age

My hair color remained highlighted except when I was pregnant four times. Then, I used a demi-permanent to cover the sprinklings of gray and my streak that was turning white. I experimented with brunette shades and added some red highlights, but the darker I made my hair, the more noticeable something began to appear: an increasing regrowth of gray.

Time, which truly is fleeting, had the scatterings spreading, and now, in my 40s, I was approximately 50% gray. Fortunately, as a stylist, I receive discounts on professional hair color and have started coloring my regrowth, highlighting it over the existing color. I have naturally level 5 (light to medium brown) hair, and I began with 5N, then moved to 7NN for the resistant grays. Now, I am about 75% gray and use 8NA with highlights.

Tired of the Two-Step

I am over the two-step hair color process; it’s both time-consuming and costly, even for me. The pandemic had me thinking, especially with inches of regrowth due to laziness and a lack of going out in public to keep my hair color gray. However, my first venture outside had me taming those grays.

But now, since I’ve left the beauty business altogether, except for a few family haircuts, some tutoring or mentoring sessions, and the occasional blog post, going gray is at the forefront of my mind. By the way, I am now a certified career coach, and you can find me sharing new and interesting articles or schedule coaching with me at Coaching With Ms. D.

My hairstylist agrees. I think I will try going all gray because I have thick, wavy hair that reveals white as it grows in. The nape is salt and pepper, with a bit of it throughout the entire head, but this will create dimension. Hey, if I dislike it, I can always recolor my whole head. So, how will I complete the task of going fully gray?

Go Gray with My Simple Steps

First, visit your stylist so they can assess your gray percentage and formulate a plan, which, to be honest, could be costly. There are four ways to complete the process, but the time it takes depends on numerous factors, including the length of your hair, your base color, and the level of color you currently use.

• Step One: Remove all color in one salon visit and add gray to match your natural hair color. Again, this is timely and costly, depending on the abovementioned factors. However, your color is set, and you only need to perform maintenance (see below).
• Step Two: Highlight. This depends on the color you’re starting with, and this is how I plan to transition to an entirely gray look. I am waiting for another inch of regrowth (for me, about two inches), then I will heavily highlight the entire head until the 8NA with highlights naturally grows out with haircuts. This is timely as I must wait for the hair to grow. However, I am blessed with hair that grows super-fast. As the permanent color is removed, I will gradually reduce the highlighting and then stop altogether until it is completely gone.
• Step Three: Gradually lighten half-shades of color for each retouch until the grays blend seamlessly with your grown-out color. This, too, depends on your starting shade and takes some time if your hair is long. I do not recommend this process.
• Step Four: Do nothing. Let it grow out naturally.

Gray Maintenance

While you won’t need to color your hair, a gloss to brighten the gray, depending on your level of gray, will prevent it from becoming dull, as it tends to do. Remember, your gray hair can range from steel gray to platinum white, which makes visiting a professional very important in determining how to proceed if you decide to go completely gray.

I also recommend a violet-based shampoo and/or conditioner (in moderation) to prevent the lighter shades of gray from dulling. However, too much or improper rinsing can alter your color, resulting in a lavender tinge.

Skin will ashen as we age; gray on gray isn’t complementary. I suggest a tinted moisturizer, Miracle Balm, or What the Foundation from Jones Road for glowing, youthful skin.

Happy Styling!

If you like my tips to go gray, click subscribe. Do you want to work in the beauty field? My book, The Future Professional’s Guide to Cosmetology, contains all the questions and answers you need. You can also email your inquiries to asktheprostylist@gmail.com or follow me on TikTok for updates on tutoring.

For career, life, professional, and relationship coaching, visit my new website, www.coachingwithmsd.com.

©Deirdre Haggerty 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. It is unlawful to reproduce this article or any part without the author’s prior written permission and consent.

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